We’ve been cruising along at a pretty good clip for the last couple weeks. Things were starting to mellow out and feel good again, that permanent smile returned to my lips, life has been good. Then there was change.
It’s not that I dislike change… It spices things up and keeps life interesting but when it involves other people’s lives and those changes are life altering… Well, it gets a little scary. For me anyway. As always, Sir is my rock and stands tall and strong in the wake of adversity while I cry in the corner trying to figure out how to put the walls back up that are crumbling down.
Wednesday night we had a discussion. He knows. We’ve been at this long enough now that He can see right through me. “What’s bothering you love?” He asked. I tried to head Him off and convince Him not to talk about it, after all, He’s in the thick of it. That wasn’t an option so we dug in.
I told Him all my woes and His reply was simple, calming and unwavering… “As long as you take care of Me you have nothing to worry about. Let Me stress over the things you can do nothing about”. He looked into my eyes and shrugged as if it were obvious and that should be the end of it. My knee jerk reaction is to argue that it’s not okay and it IS stressful and because it isn’t just He and I, yes, I do need to worry. But I didn’t say any of those things. I wiped my snotty nose and teary eyes and said thank you because I do appreciate His strength and support.
Sometimes it’s still hard for me to just let go and have trust and faith but I know that is the only way. I’m just along for the ride. And I don’t mean that in a negative or nonchalant manner, it’s just the facts. I’m very fortunate that Sir has allowed me to voice my pros and cons about the changes but ultimately the decision He makes for our family will be final and I will be okay with it. I will always support Him no matter what.