Sometimes society gets the best of me even when it isn’t directly involved. There are times I allow thoughts to meddle in my brain that are unwelcome in our dynamic. Most of the time I can wrangle these in and tell society to stuff it, other times these thoughts lead to a discussion with Sir.
For example, one-on-one time…
When Sir is with one of His other partners I have a rule for myself that I do not text or call Him during that time. I believe everyone should be allotted quality time. It is important for Him to have uninterrupted time with them and it is important for them to have their needs met by Him. We do not set schedules, our lives are too busy and ever-changing. We have tried to plan things and when they fall through the cracks someone is always left unhappy. Because of this we are very spontaneous. He sneaks in time with His other partners as time permits and it is because of this I find it so important to stay out of His text messages and allow Him that time uninterrupted.
Because Sir and I are nesting partners and I’m with Him “all the time” I’ve never asked for the same consideration I give them. There’s NEVER a time He’s not available to them should He be asked to be. Enter unwelcomed thoughts… “I should start asking for uninterrupted time” or “why don’t I get the same respect I give” or my favorite, just get frustrated and keep it to myself until I explode like a pressure cooker. None of which are happy or healthy responses to such static.
Instead of reacting to these thoughts I remind myself I’m a slave. I have no rights. I’m not entitled. I get what I am given and I appreciate it. Most of the time this works. Other times it’s a Band-Aid and just stuffs that pressure cooker.
I’m learning. Communication can be hard. I know it’s important. That doesn’t mean I’m good at it. But that’s a post for another time.
My point of all this is to remind myself that I’ve been hardwired in a way that is not in line with the way I’ve chosen to live my life. Because we choose to keep our lifestyle private I’m not burdened with other people’s opinions but I’m still faced with them. This is my version of society’s influence. Even though they’re is no one there telling me I should do this or feel that I still hear their voices because I know that’s what they would convey.
I can remember before Sir and I moved in together every single moment meant the world to me (and trust me, it still does) so that makes me think others probably feel the same way. It makes me so happy to see Him happy and it makes Him happy to see His girls happy and happiness is the key to a life well lived. I’ve learned to find ways to have my needs met and those ways do not involve sabotaging some one else’s happiness. So to that end I do tell society to stuff it and keep on doing what I do.