I asked Sir to suggest a topic to write about. Seeing as there have been so many changes in our life and a new year is upon us, Sir liked the idea of a reflection post. What has changed? What has stayed the same? What do I expect to see happen as a result of this past year?
I have a horrible memory so I’m happy to be documenting my life from this past year here. I know that a year from now these memories will be fuzzy and I’ll be glad I have something to look back on. It certainly makes me wish I’d been more diligent about writing.
2018 has been a whirlwind of events. Time has gone by so quickly. Somehow we are always busy, there just aren’t enough hours in the day. It’s frustrating that my documenting has gone by the wayside. There is no time for art and I can feel that changing who I am.
There were possibilities of other jobs but those didn’t pan out. I like my job and I really like the people I work with but the possibility of working from home came up and seemed very appealing. In my mind I could get my work done and then be able to take care of Sir’s house. I could have dinner ready every night and greet Him properly when He arrived home.
Spring was a time for change. My mom moved to the area. For a while we thought she would be living with us. We searched for a home for sale with a mother in law suite but in the end she got her own apartment and we stayed put. At some point we will revisit the possibility of cohabitation but for now we’re able to maintain in separate homes.
We went on an incredible vacation for Sir’s birthday. We were able to get away from it all for a few days and just enjoy each other and our surroundings. It was pretty cool that He let me surprise Him with trip, He doesn’t usually let go of the reins but in the end He had a really good time. I’ll never forget that little getaway.
Summer is a blur. We didn’t take the time to do any of our favorite things. A relaxing day by the lake or tooling through the forest on His side by side would have been fun but we always chose to just stay home alone, together when we did have the chance. We’re such home bodies. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Looking back maybe the universe knew that there would be a time in our not so distant future that we would be desperate for time at home alone.
As summer came to a close, His out of state daughter had major surgery. They weren’t especially close so when she asked Him to come we made it happen. It was supposed to be a quick trip but when she wasn’t released from the hospital as expected it became an extended trip. Sir called me every day and gave me updates and as He realized her life there wasn’t the life He thought it was we knew we had to take her in and help her but she declined the offer. A couple weeks later she asked if she could come visit… She never left.
We saw His son off to college and made the trip to see his first football game. He didn’t play but we were there to cheer him on and Sir was so proud. It made me happy to see Sir off 3 more times to attend His son’s games, especially when he finally got to play.
Fall brought plenty of struggles. Learning to share our space with another adult was a challenge. Sir is an amazing man. He’s one of those guys who would give the shirt off His back to help some one. Without hesitation. Come to find out, His daughter needs a LOT of shirts. She’s an amazing girl and I’ve come to love her very much… but wow!
The kink faded. Sure, there were still the things that appeared vanilla to the unsuspecting eye but the spontaneity that once flourished was gone. This is when Sir suggested we attend our first munch.
With Fall comes a change of weather and with a change of weather comes a shift in my happiness. I miss the sun and the warm days. I miss the fresh air, the house is so stuffy. We live in a place notorious for gloomy winters and I know it’s so close. Some how I skated through 15 years of gloomy winters unscathed then I meet Sir and it starts to bother me. I’m a very strong empath and sometimes I feel like that hinders me from being me. I know that Sir loves the sunshine and being outside or tinkering in the garage so as winter nears those doors close and it makes me sad for Him.
In response to Sir’s question, how will these changes affect our lives going forward… In short, I don’t know. I try not to think about it and maybe that isn’t the healthiest way to proceed but to be honest it scares me. I know that Sir will never live a vanilla life again and right now our lives are about 85% vanilla. He tells me from time to time that I’m not going anywhere but He also tells me that He’s concerned. I know that when we have our space back things will get back on track but the road to that place may still be long and bumpy.