Emotional · Jibberish · Master/slave · Vanilla

A Shoulder

Two weeks ago my Bearded Dragon died.

Putting it out there in the universe like that sounds so simple and nonchalant.  I mean who mourns the passing of a lizard, right?  Well… this particular lizard was with me for a very long time.  I’m talking 17 years.  She was with me longer than my ex husband, we got her together the year we were married.  That’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had… with a lizard!  That should tell you a little something about me, right?

I was pretty devastated.  I knew she wasn’t doing well.  In fact, I made an appointment to take her to the vet for a consult, expecting to send her off to the big sleep.  I told Sir about the appointment Wednesday morning when He was leaving for work and asked Him if He would come with me.  Of course He said He would then gave me one of those heart melting hugs while I cried on His shoulder until I felt better.  A little later I went upstairs to take care of her and she had passed.

She was a good pet, especially for me.  Very low maintenance.  Even though she didn’t require a lot of attention it was a weird relief to know that I would have one less thing to take care of.  That sounds so incredibly harsh but it’s the facts.  My life has become very busy and finding the time to give attention to all of the things that require it is a challenge.  One less thing on the proverbial plate was a relief.  Of course I couldn’t express this to Sir.  I was at work, He was at work… we were… well, busy.

When I got home that night I grabbed the shovel and went out to start digging.  There was something about digging a hole that was therapeutic.  I’ve always felt a strong sense of responsibility for things that are “mine” (of course I can hear Sir saying that nothing is mine, but you know what I mean).  So it was MY responsibility to dig that hole.  Midway through digging Sir asked me if I wanted my surprise now.  Clueless what He was talking about, I said whenever He wanted to surprise me would be okay with me.  “I got you a bird” He said!!!  I was in shock, to say the least.  It was a Cockatoo, an Umbrella Cockatoo!  The very bird I’ve wanted for 25 years!!  And YES!  I wanted to go get it that night!

We finished burying the lizard, gave her a nice send off and then we were off to see a man about a bird.  It was about an hour drive and I yammered on the whole way, asking questions about my soon to be new feathered friend.  “Is it a boy or girl”  I asked.  “It’s a bird” He said.  “Does it have a name” I asked.  “It’s a bird” He said.  “How old is it” I asked.  “It’s a bird” He said.  Basically, He knew I always wanted this bird and I was hurting and He wanted to make it better.  When we arrived and the bird climbed up on my shoulder and cuddled against my neck like that bird did all those years ago, I knew he was coming home with me.  I knew that it didn’t matter if my plate was full, it didn’t matter if I didn’t know what I was getting into, it didn’t matter if we didn’t have room or time or anything else.  All that mattered was this guy was sweet and needed a home and had MANY, MANY years of love left to give and I wanted to be the one he shared those years with.

It’s been an adventure, finding the new groove and making it all work.  If I’m being honest, it hasn’t been working.  I’m trying though.  Parrots require a LOT.  Sir requires a LOT.  The dogs require a LOT.  And soon the circus will be growing again with the addition of an ocean in a box when Sir’s saltwater aquarium gets set up next week… That will also require a LOT.  But I’m excited.  He’s getting something He has always wanted, I got something I’ve always wanted and I actually enjoy taking care of all of it.  I am blessed beyond measure.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, my life is charmed.  I feel very fortunate to have a Master who knows what I need… even better than I do.  And I love having a cuddle bird who likes to sit on my shoulder.

3 thoughts on “A Shoulder

  1. I’m so sorry for the loss. 17 years together is a long time and pets become such a big part of us. So sweet of your Master, the bird sounds awesome. Enjoy your new friend 🙂



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