1 Year Later

It was 1 year ago yesterday that I met Sir.  It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.  I’m still just as head over heels crazy for Him as I was a year ago.  My heart still skips a beat when I first see Him after work.  I’m still smitten.

In my experience, after being with some one for a little while you start to get comfortable and your​ best manners tend to slip a little.  You stop “trying”.  While I feel more comfortable with Sir today than I did a year ago I still always feel like I’m trying.  I feel like a different person since we’ve been together.  A better person.  I feel proud to belong to Him.

Sometimes I reflect on the progression of our relationship, it’s fascinating to me.  It just feels like this was meant to be.  There were so many roadblocks, both big and small that tried to shut us down.  We both did our best to not end up where we are… But fate will always find a way to reassert itself.  In THIS POST I wrote about the lead up to our meeting and my reluctance.  We were never supposed to meet. We were never supposed to talk on the phone. We were never supposed to exchange pictures. We both claimed to be unavailable. I was married to another man and He was married to His work.  Obviously that didn’t stop us. He was so persistent. For some reason He wanted me and He wasn’t going to give up.  I still don’t know what made me so special.  I’m just a plain Jane and until He made me His I always felt like an ordinary girl.

Yesterday was the closest to an anniversary that we have.  I do not know when I became His.  It just happened.  I don’t have a collar.  We’re not married.  I’m kind of just His by default.  I remember one time, early on, I actually asked Him if I was His and He nonchalantly replied by saying “who’s else would you be?”.

Over the past year He helped me buy my car, He helped me through a divorce, we bought a side by side together, we started a business together that is already growing like a wild fire, moved in together, bought a new truck together… It’s been a pretty big year.  Any one of those things, to me, would be a major life event.  Again, I’m a very simple person.

It’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride.  It’s hard to believe this is my life now.  I delight in my role as His slave.  The simple act of making the bed every morning pleases me because I know it pleases Him.  I’m an emotional empath.  I tend to soak up the emotions of those around me.  I’ve gotten better, over the years, at blocking some of the negative stuff (obsidian helps tremendously) but those​ who are closest to me cannot be blocked.  As such, when He’s having a bad day so am I.  When He’s disappointed in me I’m far more disappointed in myself.    I’ve said before that there is no greater punishment than the punishment I put myself through.  It is devastating for me when I displease Him.  He knows this and He’s really good with me.

I am very fortunate.  I feel like my life is a charmed one.  What I am today is because of Him and it’s only been a year.  I know what my future holds because He has told me and I’m excited to see it come to be.  I look forward to many more years with Sir.  Some day I will look back at these posts and see how much I’ve grown as His slave and I will be just as amazed then as I am today.  I am His and I am proud.