Jibberish · Master/slave

slut Deserves a Punishment

This morning was not good. The routine was a little different from normal because we slept in a little but I need to learn to do my routine regardless of the timetable.  Getting out the door was chaos and mayhem and I didn’t like it. I felt inadequate because He had to help me get ready rather than me helping Him get ready, like it’s supposed to be. When I finally got to my car and pulled out of the driveway I was in tears.

In His previous vanilla relationship He did a lot of domestic stuff that a man working 60+ hours a week shouldn’t have to do.  My constant fear is of our relationship becoming vanilla.  I don’t want Him to have to pick up my slack.  He deserves to come home and put His feet up after working all day and in the mornings He shouldn’t have to make my lunch while He’s taking business calls.

This week has been pretty stressful. A lot of new stuff going on. A new house that’s full of boxes and hardly anything is put away. A new job location with lots of new responsibilities to learn. A new city to learn my way around. And of course we decided to go back on our diet.

Obviously, figuring out the whole schedule of when I need to get up and start making breakfast and getting our lunches ready is something I need to learn.  That’s what didn’t happen this morning.  What also didn’t happen was getting the bed made and we’ve talked, specifically, about that.  Having a made bed is important to Him and not getting it done is a big deal.

I feel like I should probably be punished for screwing up this morning.  I don’t want to be punished.  At least I don’t want to be punished now.  This morning when I was crying like a baby and feeling like a jerk for not getting things done I definitely felt like I should be punished.  When I’m feeling crappy about something being punished never seems so bad.  Of course punishments aren’t meant to be enjoyable.  And not really meant to make me feel better… Yet when I feel like I really deserve it I think I’d be able to take it better.

On a side note, I got my bottom warmed up this morning with the cane and it was pure deliciousness.  At one point I did call His name and tell Him that it hurt, I’ve never called Him by name when He’s beating me so that was weird.

3 thoughts on “slut Deserves a Punishment

  1. Just take it one day at a time. Moving to a new house takes time to settle in and get things into place anyway. Let alone moving in with your Dom and being 24-7 which is new to you. Just remember to breathe and don’t beat yourself up too much 🙂

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